Shiver me timbers!

Coverage in the news of Somali pirates hijacking aid ships led me to look into piracy in general. Turns out, Somalia is pretty bad right now, but there are actual pirates operating all over the world, especialy in the south pacific and around africa.

First off, to hell with Somalia. Stop sending them aid. The World Food Program said it would withold all aid from Somalia unless their ship MV Semlow was released. rumor has it that they also paid a ransom for the ship and it's crew. Last week, another of their ships, the MV Togelow was hijacked, and was released this week, probably after another payoff.

So our aid program, the food that the compassionate people of the world give to help out the people of Somalia who are suffering through a difficult time, this is being stolen, held for ransom, along with the people we hired to take it to your crappy little country? I say cut them off.

And where are they getting the money for all these guns and RPGs? Who are they buying them from?
(this, it turns out is sort of an open secret)
YEP, its the very same nations who try to send food. the US, France, UK, Russia, China, We send guns, then we send food, and complain when they use the guns to steal the food.

So let me revise my earlier statement:
To hell with Somalia, stop sending them guns and ammunition.

No More Pies!

Self-hating humans chuck bean curd at skeleton-woman
From SFGate:
Vogue editor in chief Anna Wintour was attacked with a tofu pie this weekend when anti-fur demonstrators turned on her at Paris' fashion week.

Dan Matthews, vice president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, said the attack was instigated by the magazine's decision to run advertisements for fur-based clothing -- despite their offer of matching the fee in return for PETA anti-fur advertisements.

Throwing pies is stupid. Yes it's funny, but as political statements go, it sucks. Nobody is going to give up fur because you threw a pie. On the other hand, it's not the same as punching somebody in the face. It got you in the papers for a few days, but nobody is impressed. If you had the money to advertise in Vogue and they said no, well take your money elsewhere, I'm sure some other national magazines will take your ads... but after seing the handbills your people pass out in crowds downtown, I think the problem may be in presentation.

Throwing Tofu pies is extra stupid. Are you worried about offending a cow?

But all that is beside the point!
(yes I have a point, it may be a litte dull, but it'll do)

At some level, we civilized folk try to ignore the fact that we live on earth, where every living thing eats other living things in a never-ending cycle of "now I eat you, now you eat me." This has been the state of affairs here forever, and no vegans or Jains or other nutballs are going to change the fact.

It is this simple fact, this horrific fact of life, that so many of us refuse to look at, and lacking any symbols to guide us, having discarded the myths of our ancestors as superstition, and found nothing new to take their place, some people become self-destructive when they finally force themselves to look, and denying life itself, they refuse to participate in the horror.

So they throw tofu pies.

Boy George?

This guy is what, 65? I think "Boy" George is a bit of a misnomer at this point. We ought to call him Oldie-but-still-weirdie George. Or perhaps Sneezy O'drughabit George?

The Daily Mail (where the news thats not fit to print can be found) headline reads:

Boy George faces battle to save career

Boy George has flown back to Britain after being charged with possessing cocaine in the United States.

What career? Culture club had 2 songs. Sure they probably made more, but I only know of 2, and if you can name more than that, you're probably weird.

Human rights lawyer Mark Stephens said: "Boy George is innocent until proved guilty but if he's found guilty it could have major implications for him to be allowed into the US. He would effectively be excluded.

His lawyer calls him Boy George? The guy is 44, but with all the clean living, he looks like hes 70. Can we please at least call him Man-George?

Silent birth - or just because you're rich doesnt mean you're not a moron

Scientologists are an odd bunch of ducks. L. Ron Hubbard was a famous crook and a terrible writer, but somehow the overpaid glitterati are drawn to his (very expensive) religion.

What a surprise, actors and pop stars fall for simple ego-stroking schemes that relieve them of their money by the truckload. I am sooo in the wrong business. Kabalology anyone?

Well, speaking of overpaid actors, you may remember the guy from risky business? He's really short and a total ass? Thinks vitamins cure depression? Yep, he's knocked up his girlfriend, Katie Holmes.

ITN Reports:

Under the rules of Scientology Katie will have to suffer labour in silence.

The organisation believes pregnant women must not scream during labour as it is apparently traumatic for babies.

And the former Dawson's Creek star better get practising with her breathing as Scientology also frowns upon the use of painkillers.

So, there you have it folks, You pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for the secrets to happiness, then you're told to push out an 8 pound baby without making a sound.

My wife gave birth recently, and man did she holler. Call me irreligious, but I think it would have been a real bad idea to tell her to shut up just then.