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Saturday, October 01, 2005

Stretch and Brownie and Turd-blossom, Oh my!

I have a dream... no, it's not as big and important as MLK's dream. No, it's not that kind of dream at all. I have a dream that one day soon, the Bush-Butt-Kissing squad at Fox News will start to use W's pet nicknames when reporting the news....

"You're watching Fox News Live, I'm Lauren Green. Today in Washington, Bushie announced that Guru and Big Time will be traveling to Moscow for a meeting with Pootie-Poot, then on to London for a meeting with Landslide.

Former Secretary of State Balloonfoot has been nominated to take over the management of FEMA, replacing the embattled Brownie, who after vicious partisan attack from the radical left, graciously stepped down from his post to bring an outsider's view to the investigation of what went wrong with the evacuation of New Orleans.

In a surprise announcement, Dubya has tapped Fredo to be his next nominee to the supreme court. Ali and Senator both announced today that they would filibuster his nomination if necessary.

In other news, Hads, Speak, Hutch, Pedro, both Action Jacksons and Stretch held a press conference today condemning the attacks on The Blade, The Hammer, Fristy, and Turd Blossom, calling for a more civil political discourse and an "end to the politics of personal destruction."

"And lets go live to Julie Banderas, reporting live from Washington."

"Thanks, Lauren, Here with me today is Congressman Kick-ass, Congressman, do you have a comment on today's homicide bombing?"

"Yes, Julie, Dubya has a strategery to..."

"I'm sorry Julie, we have to break in, we have breaking news, Turd Blossom has been Indicted. In what is clearly a partisan attack, Turd Blossom has been indicted for the alleged outing of an alleged CIA agent, allegedly named Valerie Plame. Let's go to Greg Jarrett for a live update from the courthouse- Greg?"

"That's Gregg, Lauren, get it right.- I spell it with 2 G's for a reason. Pronounce it right you vapid meat-puppet. Yes, word has just come down that in addition to Turd Blossom, Scooter has also been indicted in this obviously partisan attack."

"We have to break for commercial, Thanks for watching Fox News Live, I'm Lauren Green."


Why?????? WHY can't the leader of the free world remember anybody's name? Is it a power-trip? He can't be bothered to learn your name so he just gives you a new one?

At least we know why he's always so giggly, always smiling.