Mark Twain

The loud little handful will shout for war. The pulpit will warily and cautiously protest at first…The great mass of the nation will rub its sleepy eyes, and will try to make out why there should be a war, and they will say earnestly and indignantly: "It is unjust and dishonorable and there is no need for war." Then the few will shout even louder…Before long you will see a curious thing: anti-war speakers will be stoned from the platform, and free speech will be strangled by hordes of furious men who still agree with the speakers but dare not admit it ... Next, statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing falsities, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself that the war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception.

Forgot this was here

I had forgotten about this abandoned archive of my idiocy. I had no reason to think about it at all and suddenly N2 remembers its here and leaves 5 comments in one day.

So here I am again. The other site wasn't suitable for the kind of shit I want to say these days.

No more news.

I met a prophet the other day. He gave me his phone number. I was waiting in line at a print shop and there's an older guy with some stuff on the counter, the stuff looks nuts, so does he.

Naturally, I start talking to the guy. Turns out, he used to be a chemical engineer but six years ago he died and GOD took over his body. "Alpha and Omega, thats me" I fucking love crazy people.

So he told me a bunch of stuff that I will now repeat to you, and if it turns out to be true, he can give me extra points. I mean he's GOD and all. I did ask him if he could arrange some money to come my way, still nothing to speak of has arrived. (and even if it did, I've asked a lot of crazy people who think they're GOD to send money, so that wouldn't prove anything.

I am probably the only person you know who asks crazy people for money.

So we talk for a while, turns out that the world will end in nuclear holocaust before the next superbowl. First, Hugo Chavez will take over Cuba. Fidel will die, and his brother 2 days after, then Hugo steps in as leader.

He arrived at this conclusion (I made him give me his notes) by reading the book of revelation. He said Darius the Mede means Dick Cheney. I asked why, and his explanation left me certain that he was, in fact, completely fucking nuts. you see you have to take all the letters, and each one means something else, etc.

Sooooo, after that, we nuke North Korea, and the whole world blows up.

The only safe place to go is..... some place in New York state.
Sorry, I can't find the notes he gave me, I let my wife look at them, and I suppose she's lost them for me. Please don't hold it against her if you can't find the safe place to go, just head for northern New York, and find the town with living people in it.

Damn, I have his phone number on those notes! I fully intend to take him out for a drink and find out more of his revelation.


Coincidentally-
at the used bookstore the other day, I noticed a number of very unusual books had shown up. These books were all published by the same printer, they were all reprints of very old books, some in latin, all on somewhat arcane subjects having to do with an area of study that might be called The Great Work. All were inscribed F. minimus

One of the books was a guide written in Latin for taking each letter of the bible and using it for predictions of some kind. I immediately thought of my crazy friend.

So. Assuming I find my note with his crazy phone number on it, I'll take him out for coffee - never give crazy people beer- and find out more of what's going to happen.

Dinner with a racist

I had dinner with a racist a few months back. Normally I wouldn't have dinner with a racist, but there were two mitigating factors. First, said racist was the father-in-law of a dear friend, and second, he was paying for dinner.

He was moving to Indiana from South Texas, and shared his opinion about the Texas / Mexico border. His considered opinion was "They ought to shoot them for trying to cross the border, I'm sick of it, they're smuggling drugs, killing people..." I can't quote the whole rant verbatim, but I hope you get the gist of it. I remember saying something about legalizing drugs so American farmers and pharmacutical companies could make the money that the criminal gangs were making and he looked at me like I was from another planet, and went on about how he hated Mexicans and we should invade them or something. Eventually one of his younger children began bawling about something or other so I let it drop.

To his credit, he still paid for dinner.

I bring this up because today I was listening to am radio. Not the big boys, but a small time host named Eric Von Wade in Corpus Christi, he's a darling of the local Chamber of Commerce Republicans, always says "Democrat Party" instead of Democratic Party, Always takes the "correct" position on any issue. I wonder if he gets a memo, or if he's really that plugged in to the Republican zeitgeist?

Today Eric Von Wade was talking about a certain truck driver, Tyrone Williams, 35, of Schenectady, New York, who was found guilty today of smuggling people across the border, then abandoning them in his airtight trailer when he felt he was in danger of being caught. 19 of the people died.

The Monday verdict, on the fifth day of deliberations, found him guilty of all 58 counts: conspiracy plus counts of harboring, transporting and transporting resulting in death for each of the 19 victims. The jurors also found him culpable as a principal offender, out for "private financial gain.

Eric asks the audience to call in and opine on whether or not Mr. Williams should, in their view be excecuted for his crime, and of course they all say yes.

But they also, every single one of them, demonized the victims. Some callers said that surviving parents who's children died should be executed too. One went so far as to call for the death penalty for anyone transporting illegal immigrants. And we should put up a fence with machine guns to keep them out, and well, you can probably guess the rest.

It became clear to me where Mr. Williams' contempt for his cargo came from.

Good, well-meaning people are not actually good, well-meaning people all the time. When it comes to people from another place, or people who speak a different language, or look different, or have different religion or customs, good, well-meaning people like you and me are capable of barbaric cruelty.

Tyrone will most likely hang for his crimes, and the next smuggler who has to ditch his human cargo in the desert is now almost certain to kill every single one of them before he leaves. If Mr. Williams had done that, he'd likely be home in Schenectady right now.

I gave up on talk radio after about 15 minutes and listened to an Abba CD.

Something ain't right

Let me describe the typical life-arc of an average American born after 1980. We'll call our average person Joe. Average Joe.

Joe's parents divorce when he's in grade school, and now Joe visits his dad and dad's new girlfriend on weekends. Joe has two step-families, often at odds one with the other.

Joe graduates high school and goes straight to college. His parents, all 4 of them, help out as best they can, and with grants, Joe only has to finance 80% of the cost of going to college for 4 years.

After college, Joe begins to work. If he doesn't move back in with either of his parents, he'll be in poverty for about 6 more years, but after that, with luck and determination, Average Joe will start to earn a respectable working-class income. That's right kids, college grads are working class now. so he'll make between 40 and 65 k per year in his 30s, assuming he doesn't get downsized, outsourced, or otherwise laid off and have to start all over again.

Turns out, that's a big assumption. Average Joe will be laid off.

Look upon my weather ye mighty

My Yahoo Messenger tells me the weather everywhere I have friends, and right now I just want to say...

Nyah nyah!

Do you realize that a couple days ago, Sunday, the Sunday after thanksgiving, I took my family to the beach and went for a swim?

Oh, yeah- that's Drew Barrymore.
She's cute.

And the president got dissed by his supposed puppet Maliki

I don't like W, but I don't think I'd cancel a meeting with him if his army was protecting my house.

And Britney is out showing her yoni to anyone who wants to see it. (why couldn't she do that back when she was hot?)

I just like the word yoni. Lingam is good too, but saying "yoni" with a straight face is almost impossible, and its kind of an onomatopea.

Goodnight from the tropics!

A solution!

Our good friend DP has just sent me a link to the solution to the worlds problems!

The Global Orgasm

On December 22nd, Susan Moonchild's birthday, and a dark day indeed, we're all supposed to get off.

Yep, the whole worlds gonna screw, jerk off, or otherwise achieve climax.

Here's the problem-

As far as I know, the whole world pretty much does that already.

Maybe we should narrow it down- say within an hour of noon GMT? maybe that would provide a little more focus?

Out, damned spot!

I watched this video on youtube, It's from a peace activist who did some interviews in Baghdad before the war started.

I didn't really pay attention to the content of the interviews, what struck me was this-

Here's American hippies walking around Baghdad, talking to well-groomed Iraqis, there's traffic, people getting on the bus, going to work, all the basics of civilized life. I'm not saying it was great, I'm told that there were some pretty awful things about the Iraqi government back then that people were afraid to say anything about.

But compare it to this from today's news:

Death toll crosses 200 in Baghdad bombings, revenge attacks follow

We have really screwed up.

Not Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, yes, they led the charge...
but you and me brother, we're just as responsible.

We're responsible for letting it happen.
We're responsible for forgetting how it started
We're responsible for not shouting down the bastards who brought this blood onto our house.
We're responsible for not ever talking about it.
We don't bring it up at dinner, or in polite company. When it's brought up we uncomfortably cast about for a change of subject, as if ignoring the blood will make it disappear.

A break from the news

I remember episodes of my childhood, times when I clearly misunderstood everything around me. I remember my interpretation of events as a child and I look back with some embarassment that I could have been so foolish.

I think everybody does that, I don't know for sure, but I believe everybody looks back at the way they thought as a child or young person and feels some ebarassment over their own naievite or, as was often my case, utter misunderstanding of the facts presented.

What I think is harder, and more important, is to look at my current understanding the same way. To know that one day, perhaps I will look back at the things I've said and believed, and think, "wow, I really missed the point on that one."

Because I often miss the mark. That's one reason I keep blogs. I don't expect anybody to read them, but I do want them to exist, to be out there in the world, part of the collective conciousness, to embarass me when I'm wiser, and perhaps to remind me that I'm rarely right.

Strange thing, memory.

Memory is the only thing that connects me to that child that I once was. My body has changed and grown, every single molecule has been swapped out several times over and the very brain that holds those memories can't even be said to be the same one that experienced the events.

So what part of me is this memory? How true is it?

I've experimented sometimes with changing my memories. I've gone back and re-lived events that I should have handled differently, and handled them differently, in my imagination. Objectively, of course, I know what really happened, and what was imagination. But the re-telling of the story, the changing of the memory to include this new, alternate version also changed me in the here and now. It changed how I look at the world, how I feel about the people involved so long ago.

And at the end of the day, they're my memories, nobody else will remember it anywhere close to the way I did, and considering the amount of information I've managed to forget, it seems only fair that what I do remember, I be allowed to edit.

I started out trying to talk about the impermanence of the moment. The fact that who I am now is not the same as 15 minutes ago. Not physically, chemically, nothing.

Yet I am the same.

It's like the a garment worn by a saint centuries ago, so often patched by the pious monks that not a stitch remains of the original cloth, but still revered as being the cloth worn by saint so-and-so.

Perhaps rightly so.

Conscription!

Ah, Reese Witherspoon, the name just flows trippingly off the tongue. I wonder if it's her real name? Always liked Reese, and when she played June Carter I have to admit I got a little crush on her. I know you'll say she's all chin, but so what? I'm all nose.

So the news today makes me want to vomit. Or was it the cruise?

Amid Uproar Over War, Rangel Renews Call for Draft

It was cute when you tried to float your "national service" bill when you were in the minority, we got your point, but don't you dare try that BS when you're in charge. I understand your reasoning, Mr. Rangel, is that universal military service will somehow make our nation less bellicose, but you couldn't be more wrong. Conscription isn't going to change the character of our government, It will only provide more fodder for the cannons, and do it at a discount. I like the idea that we have to pay what the market will bear for soldiers.

And somehow, I don't think anyone who's last name is Bush will be affected.


Russia denies poisoning former spy in London

Well, Duh.


Simpson's 'If I Did It' Book, TV Special Canceled

I know Pudge will probably care, but I can't tell why. Let him write his damn book.
Send all the proceeds to his victims' families.

"Kramer's" Racist Tirade -- Caught on Tape
or,
DON'T HECKLE A 7 FOOT JEW.

Go watch this, its fun. I can see a public apology in Kramer's future.

'Second Life' Invaded by 'Grey Goos', Downed for 21 Mins

If I had more spare time, more money, and a better computer, I'd hang out on second life and think this was important. I think I heard that AP or Reuters or someone has a news desk in Second Life. You know you've made it when your video game has an it's own bureau chief.

Here's another picture of a pretty girl. (and some other stuff)

Kate Winslet. There's a nice looker for you.

A lot has happened since I last talked at you, let's review-

Britney and K-Fed split -Britney keeps all the money
Oh- and just for spite, she gave away pics of the new kid for free so he can't sell them. I wonder what it's like to marry someone, be so hot for him that you blow him on your balcony with the paparazzi watching, have 2 children with him, then decide that you hate him, and try to hurt him any way you can. I've never been able to love a person one day then hate them the next.

Or ever, for that matter.

Google May Help Doctors Diagnose Maladies

So let me get this straight, you trained for a decade, read the medical journals, go to conferences, and you are using Google to tell me what's wrong? Great.

Rumsfeld To Be Charged For Prison Abuse

Don't get excited, comrades. The charges will be brought in a German court. (if they're brought at all) I don't think Rummy has much to worry about. The charges come up now because he resigned Wednesday. The precedent in this kind of case has been that the minister has a kind of immunity from prosecution while he's still in office.

An American cabinet secretary formally charged with crimes against humanity in a criminal court... I bet Henry Kissinger needs a fresh set of drawers right about now.

MI5 chief says agency tracking 30 terror plots

Oh bugger! 1600 people, 30 separate plots "that we know of," What is it about Britain that makes their population so eager to join al-qaeda? I've been reading a lot about the British problem, most of these people are 2nd or 3rd generation immigrants. In America, 2nd-generation immigrants seem more worried about their SAT scores than jihad. And 3rd generation immigrants act just like everybody else.

Israel 'could launch Iran strike'

Well, lets hope not. With any luck, the Russians will abandon their little Iran project in favor of membership in the WTO.

Oh, I almost forgot-

Democrats control both houses of congress

So I thought I'd bring you headlines from around the world. Isn't it interesting that people in other countries know more about our political system than most of us? Can you name two political parties in India or Pakistan? France? How about Canada? Mexico?

'Thank you America'
Mail & Guardian Online, South Africa

Your'e welcome!

The US conservative project has taken an existential hit
Guardian Unlimited, UK

Huh?

It is hard for Bush to alter his Iraqi strategy
People's Daily Online, China

Thanks comrades, but we already knew that.

Regime change in US
Khaleej Times, United Arab Emirates -

Now you're just being nasty.

World both gloats, fears Bush humiliation
Ynetnews, Israel

Listen world, you asked for it, don't be such a pussy.

Al-Qaida message hails US elections
United Press International

Well thanks for the kind words, but I'm afraid the Democrats will be just as happy to see you hang as the Republicans, probably more so.