To Sleep

I had a girlfriend once, Shira, she could go to sleep in seconds. Seriously, she'd lay down, and less than a minute later, she'd be out. For me, it's a little more complicated. I know all the tricks, how to breathe, visualization, etc. Believe me, I know all about it, sometimes though, it doesn't work. And if you're one of those people who can just sleep whenever you want, well good for you.

Take tonight for example, I have an appointment in about 6 hours, its two in the morning and I can't seem to make the transition into sleep. In the morning, I'll have trouble waking up. Why?

I've never been very good at going to sleep or waking up. The only times I've ever been happy with the sleep I got were when I didn't have to get up at any particular time, and I went to sleep when I felt like it. (ah those were the days)

Now, in my new position as wage-slave, I have to get up every morning at around the same time. I've never liked doing that, and that's probably why I've been such a terrible wage-slave over the years.

I've always had trouble switching states, If I'm awake, I want to stay awake, if I'm asleep, I'd rather stay asleep. At least it seems that way when I'm forced into a schedule.

I once toyed with the idea that sleep was just an addiction, one that was passed down to us from some species long ago who got hooked and passed it down from parent to child like a drug addiction.

So, I tried to quit. I went cold turkey. 4 days later, I had an unusual experience, and I decided that I wasn't ready yet.

Years went by, and I tried a new tactic, I read somewhere how some famous genius only slept a few hours a day by taking short naps here and there. So I tried that. It was ok, except I was tired a lot, and it's hard to explain why you have to stop working in the middle of the day to take a nap when you're a wage-slave. It worked ok when I was working in a management position, since nobody really notices if the boss is asleep.

So, here I am today, wishing I could get some sleep, not because I'm tired, no, that would be too simple, but because I dread being over-tired tomorow afternoon, which at this point I guess is inevitable.

There's an old writer (He's actually dead ) Rabelais, he wrote something called Thelema or something like that, anyway, it was this monastery where everybody did just as he liked, and I remember the thing that stuck in my mind the most- "and each went in to sleep when he was tired and awoke when he felt sated" (paraphrase)

I've always wanted to live there, I've managed to spend a few holidays there, but I always seem to come back to the world of alarm clocks and (to hell with midwesterners) 8 am meetings.