Britney is f-ing huge!
Run, don't walk to your supermarket, and look at the latest celebrity-rags, people, intouch, whatever, just any of them will do, and check her out! I love looking at Britney, I really do, but now its for a new and less healthy reason.
First, let's talk about pretty pretty Britney pants.
She was (and actually still is) pretty hot. I don't think I have ever actually heard her sing, I believe she is some kind of singer, but when I see her on TV, I just turn off the sound and watch her bounce around. But it makes me, and probably all the slightly overweight women everywhere extremely happy to see pretty pretty britney pants having to wear long skirts and cowboy boots so nobody will see her legs!
Why do I care? I don't, this post is really just for my readers, I know you all (both) eat this up.
Oh yeah- rumor has it that PPBP is going to give birth in a tub of KABALA WATER! Am I the only person in the country who has read the Pentateuch? Britney's gaping hole pushing out a baby in a tub of $15,000 holy water - that's about as Kosher as a bacon cheeseburger on Passover.
Traditionally, only men over 40 were even allowed to study kabala. (I haven't verified that, but my jewish ex-girlfriend Shira said that once.)
Famous people with lots of money often join stupid cults, it lets the cult sell red yarn and tap water at outrageous prices, and it proves once again that just because you ride around Manhattan in the back of a limo, it doesn't mean you aren't retarded.
First, let's talk about pretty pretty Britney pants.
She was (and actually still is) pretty hot. I don't think I have ever actually heard her sing, I believe she is some kind of singer, but when I see her on TV, I just turn off the sound and watch her bounce around. But it makes me, and probably all the slightly overweight women everywhere extremely happy to see pretty pretty britney pants having to wear long skirts and cowboy boots so nobody will see her legs!
Why do I care? I don't, this post is really just for my readers, I know you all (both) eat this up.
Oh yeah- rumor has it that PPBP is going to give birth in a tub of KABALA WATER! Am I the only person in the country who has read the Pentateuch? Britney's gaping hole pushing out a baby in a tub of $15,000 holy water - that's about as Kosher as a bacon cheeseburger on Passover.
Traditionally, only men over 40 were even allowed to study kabala. (I haven't verified that, but my jewish ex-girlfriend Shira said that once.)
Famous people with lots of money often join stupid cults, it lets the cult sell red yarn and tap water at outrageous prices, and it proves once again that just because you ride around Manhattan in the back of a limo, it doesn't mean you aren't retarded.
posted by JC at 12:43 PM
2 Comments:
As a pregnant woman, I understand how difficult it can be feel attractive when you can't fit through doorways. However, I do not add to the problem by eating the southern fried goodies PPBP is seen snacking on in almost every photo in the mags. I dare the bitch to complain about getting the baby weight off when little White Trash, Jr. arrives. She is shoving her face with all kinds of heffer fare but has the luxury of having a presonal trainer at her disposal. I do not. Perhaps she should take a lesson from another blonde flat ass, Jessica Simpson, and get some Proactiv (or is it Accutane, Jessica?) and clear up that pizza face of hers.
Yes, I may sound jealous, and of course, I am -Only of the resources she has to help her through her pregnancy. I suppose if I had some disposeable income I would be able to sport a plethra of cowboy boots to reign in my water retention induced 'cankles'.
She is such a hog. With all that extra weight, I know she has added folds on her little body. It happens to the best of us. This maternal 'glow' is really just grease and sweat.
Bet her cooter stinks.
I have to agree that the 'glow' is sweat and grease. There is nothing pretty about a giant woman getting ready to pass a pot roast.
I think Britney needs a bit of slack. She is pregnant and we all want an excuse to overindulge a bit. Everyone tells me to indulge and pamper myself but knowing that it is my own ass that has to suffer in the end, that extra Krispy Kreme doesn't sound so good. We all have our moments.
And as for her cooter, we've all cleared a room a time or two. It's a gril thing and those extra 'folds'... that's a pregnant thing.
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