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Sunday, July 24, 2005

Whats the deal with HIl?

I know it isn't exactly front-burner news, but Hillary Clinton has been really chapping my hide lately. In a moronic bid to win over "family values" voters, she's been pounding the podium about Rockstar Games and the "Hot Coffee" mod to "Grand Theft Auto, San Andreas," a video game that lets you lead the life of a sociopath. Playing GTA is fun. You get to steal cars, mug pedestrians, do "jobs" for crime bosses and corporate dons, all while listening to a fine soundtrack, you can even change radio stations in your stolen car! This game should probably have been rated Adults Only just based on its violent, criminal content. It was originally rated M for mature, now, at the insistence of senators Clinton and Liberman, the entertainment software review board, has changed its rating to Adults only.

WHY?
Because hidden in the game's code was something that offends good people everywhere. Yes, thats right, the sociopathic protagonist of San Andreas, the man who doesn't flinch at contract killing and carjacking, had sex!

What I find hard to understand is why this scene even required a mod. Do you know why it's called "Hot Coffee?" Because in the unmodified game, you are able to seduce women, but they will only have coffee with you. A cold-blooded criminal killer visits a prostitute and takes her out for coffee. OK.

Senator Clinton gave a speech this March to the Kaiser Family Foundation, where she railed against children playing violent video games. I am in solid agreement there. I agree that some video games, especially first-person-shooters like GTA and Delta Force are much too violent for children, and since I am staunchly Pro-Family, (I am also in favor of Motherhood and Apple Pie) I will not allow any of my children to play such games until I (the parent) feel they are ready for such things.

Why is it important at all that the protagonist of a game called "Grand Theft Auto" sees a naked woman? How does that cross the line and killing a fully-clothed woman for her car doesn't?

The senators are now pushing through a scheme to impose fines on retailers selling mature or adult-only games to minors. While that might help keep children from getting the games, (did anybody here ever get beer before you were 21?) isn't it really the responsibility of the parents to regulate their children's behavior? Adding fines will only frighten retailers from selling adult-themed games, that in turn will prevent their being created for lack of distribution networks.

So America takes one step closer to turning into Disneyland. The whole world doesn't need to be safe for children, and if it ever is, I'm leaving.

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